Bicycles

One of the first, perhaps maybe THE first thing a tourist will notice is the god awful amount of bicycles. They are everywhere. Chained to fences, street lights, bicycle racks and parked against other bicycles, walls, buildings or even just standing on the streets. I have no idea how many bicycles there actually are in Holland but as almost every Dutch person owns at least one bike, and seeing as there are around seventeen billion people currently living in Holland…Well let’s just say we have a lot of bikes.

It’s not like riding a bike in Holland is difficult or unpleasant. It’s perfect here for cycling! No mountains or hills, only flat landscape make cycling a good option. Also because Holland is so very small everything is easily accessible with a bicycle. You usually never have to cycle far to get to school, work or the store. And because of the coldish weather cycling doesn’t get uncomfortable cause of sweating.

There are a lot of bicycle paths here. Cycling in Holland is very safe in comparison to countries like England or France where the cars and busses dominate the road. Especially in England! When in London you can see a select group of people cycle like crazy pigeons through the maze of giant red busses. The warrior cyclists of London. The Dutch are no warrior cyclist. Here we cycle in big lazy groups through the big cities. No rush, just taking it easy. If the British are the fast pigeons you always see flying off just in time, than we, the Dutch are a fat flock of ducks just waggling through traffic like who gives a fuck.

The cyclists are king here. I see it all the time. People on bikes have all the power, you are basically completely immune. The only people more holier than the cyclists are the pedestrians. In Holland we have this thing that the most vulnerable person in an accident holds no blame. Whether this is legally correct as well, I don’t know, but the accepted rule by the non-law upholders goes like this: Pedestrian-cyclist-car driver-anything bigger than a car on the road-train-plane.

So if you are standing in front of a red light as a cyclist just keep on going, the bus that’s coming at you will stop as you are of course a God-send gift from heaven on your bike and everything that’s bigger will have to yield to your almighty power! Except if it’s a pedestrian coming your way, than your fucked.

Most Dutch people start learning how to ride a bike at the age of four or five. We use tiny bicycles with side wheels on them. The moment those little side wheels where allowed to be taken off you would be a true person. It feels like an initiation to childhood. From that moment you don’t have to sit in the kid’s seat on your parent’s bike anymore, you are your own person now!

Yours faithfully,

Claire Quiem