Dutch High school

The Dutch high schools are not comparable to the ones in America. What I’ve seen in the movies and heard from Americans themselves doesn’t come close to the standard high school here in Holland. Don’t think now that shit doesn’t go down here. It’s just that we don’t have metal detectors at the school’s entrance.

What we do have here, what probably every high school has, hell every school everywhere in the world is the quirky teachers. On my school alone there are some messed up teachers. You know, like the ones where you seriously question whether they bribed themselves into a teaching permit instead of getting it the legal way.

There are also, of course, the perves. We had a priest here at school who taught religion. Yep, he liked them young. I’m not saying that I am prejudice against priest, or that all religion teachers are perves. Just an example. Also, an old friend of mine had lessons from him. He threw his bible in the bin while yelling ‘’Hail the almighty Satan!’’. The first and only time the priest got pissed.

Another kind is the one that can never keep things under control. The teacher where you can just keep on yapping because he won’t stop you anyway. I feel sorry for those teachers. They get crushed. But there are two types of no-control teachers. The ones that just don’t give a crap and the once who can really not do anything about and have sudden nervous breakdowns in front of the class.

There is also the psychotic teacher. You really don’t want to piss off those ones. They always have this cold face of indifference. And when they get mad…Those people are bat shit crazy and should never be angered if one values their life. Period.

The boring teacher…Yawn. Their lessons are just an extra nap hour. It can be their voice, face or the way they talk. They are just plain boring.

The almost last kind of teacher is the passionate one. They LOVE their subject or another specific thing. If they could they would marry it, have children with it and grow old with it. They talk about it like they want to make sweet love to it. And then you have to listen to it. It’s just verbal pornography. If you feel like not doing anything that class just ask that teacher about his beloved fetish. He/she will explain everything about his precious beloved and you can just lean back and enjoy the story.

And the last kind of teacher, the kind of teacher I love the most; the witty teacher. Just brilliant. One of my teachers lives in Amsterdam, a diehard Ajax supporter, but he works in Utrecht. He glorifies Amsterdam every chance he has. One time he was talking about Europe’s hundred most beautiful cities and that Amsterdam was in the top ten or something like that. Also that he couldn’t find Utrecht anywhere on that list.

Someone in the class yelled back ‘’Than why do you come here every day for work?

The class became quiet. All listening to the one who said it.

‘’Why don’t you just find a nice job in your precious Amsterdam?’’ someone else yelled through the silence.

We all looked at our teacher waiting for his response, thinking ‘ha we have you there!’.

He just smiles back at us and said ‘’You know, I like to do development aid’’

*Pin drop silence*

Those teachers are the best.

Yours faithfully,
Claire Quiem